How to work with me

The Friction of Collaboration

Human beings are difficult to understand. We spend decades trying to figure out our own motivations and yet we still fail to predict how we will react to a simple change in our environment. We are collections of habits, biases, and biological impulses that often run in the background without our conscious consent.

Mapping the Operating System

It is strange that we expect colleagues or partners to know exactly how to interact with us when we rarely take the time to map out our own internal logic. This document is an attempt to solve that problem. It is a guide to my operating system.

The points below describe my ideal state. I am not always this person, but I try to be. As I learn more about how I function, this text will change. It is a living document because I am a living project.

Directness as a Form of Respect

I value directness above almost everything else in professional communication. Many people view small talk as a necessary lubricant for social interaction, but in a work context, it often feels like a tax.

The Cost of Small Talk

When you send a message that just says hello or asks how my weekend was before getting to the point, you are asking me to manage a social transaction before we can solve a problem.

Please state your purpose immediately.

If you have a question, ask it in the first message. If you need a favor, define it clearly. This is not about being rude. It is about respecting the finite amount of attention we both have in a day.

Processing Efficiency

A clear and concise message allows me to process information quickly and give you a useful answer. This approach saves time for everyone involved. I prefer a blunt question over a polite, vague one every single time.

The Asynchronous Default

The modern world treats every notification like an emergency. I try to resist this. You are welcome to contact me at any hour of the day or night. My phone is usually on silent or in a focus mode when I am not working, so your midnight epiphany will not wake me up.

Response Times

However, please do not expect an instant response. I am rarely in front of a screen twenty four hours a day. I have responsibilities that require me to step away from the digital noise.

I will answer messages when I have the mental space to give them a proper thought. For formal matters, sticking to standard business hours is the most reliable way to get a quick turnaround. Outside of those hours, I am likely disconnected.

The Cost of Interruption

Context switching is the enemy of quality work. If I am deep in a task, a single notification can reset thirty minutes of progress. Because of this, I often batch my communication. I might go several hours without looking at a chat app or an inbox.

The Gentle Nudge

If your message has not received a reply after a day or two, please feel free to follow up. I am not great at multitasking and sometimes a message gets buried under a pile of newer notifications. A polite nudge is never seen as an annoyance. It is a helpful reminder that I missed something important.

Professional Boundaries

I prefer to have full control over my commitments. Please ask for my permission before adding my name to a list, a project, or a meeting invite.

Protecting the Calendar

This is not about gatekeeping my time. It is about ensuring that if I commit to something, I can actually deliver on it. When I am blindsided by an obligation I did not agree to, I cannot perform at my best.

Giving me the space to make a thoughtful decision ensures that our collaboration remains productive and free of resentment.

Feedback and Growth

I appreciate honesty. If something is not working, I would rather hear it directly than have it smoothed over with corporate jargon. I try to apply the same principle when I give feedback.

Active Listening

I recently heard a piece of advice from a coworker that resonated deeply with how I want to approach collaboration:

Listen to understand, not to respond.

I try to carry this mindset into every discussion. If we can move past the fear of hurting feelings, we can reach better solutions much faster.

A Living Document

This guide is a work in progress. If you find that my actions do not align with what I have written here, I encourage you to point it out. Growth requires a constant feedback loop, and I am always looking for ways to refine how I work with the people around me.

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Image by Camila Q. Franco